Can you be a selfish empath?

An empath is someone who is highly aware of the emotions of those around them, to the point of feeling those emotions themselves. Empaths see the world differently than other people; they’re keenly aware of others, their pain points, and what they need emotionally.

Highly sensitive refuge

I generally have always been very sensitive, I have always been emotional and prone to strong emotions. This is why I choose a previous partner (because he had very stable emotions.) In recent years, I have had alot of mental health issues and been diagnosed with Complex Post traumatic stress disorder and learned to to recognise triggers, and steel myself against personal demons.

But what about other people’s demons?

As someone who loves deeply, argues fiercely and takes on others emotions, I find that I have to be careful who I surround myself with. As a mum, as a woman, as a friend, I do seem to meet a lot of people, and I have been burnt. But yet I still trust, I still make new friends, and new romantic connections, despite my pain.

I love talking to people, but recently somebody told me I was selfish for talking about myself and not asking questions. And it made me think. Maybe this is my defence mechanism, that by not letting people share themselves it helps me to cope. That while I think I’m letting people in, maybe I’m creating an illusion.

I think that people who have seem past this exterior, and battle their way past my monologues, see how caring and good a friend I can be. But because of my health issues, I do find really connecting with people hard.

I think this is a reason I am an ambivert: I think I need tome with out the noise and emotions of others, to concentrate and recharge. But this helps me to spend time with people, I love talking and connecting. That is never going to change.

Ambivert definition:
An ambivert is someone who falls in the middle of the introvert/extrovert continuum. Ambiverts have a blend of traits from both introverts and extroverts, as well as their own unique strengths. 


So in conclusion, whatever your definition is selfishness/selfcare/self-centredness is sometime key to existence. It is time where you block out the nonsenses, time to clear your head, time when you steel yourself. So I think that all empaths/ ambiverts/ people in general need to give them self the care that they personally need to exist. But I think that defining it as SELFISHNESS shows it as a negative, and meant hurtfully, so I think it is important to redefine what is needed, and who you are. It is SELFCARE, SELF PRESERVATION, something that is needed to survive. So next time you hear someone called SELFISH or SELF-CENTRED, consider why they might have chosen to put themselves first, and that maybe a it’s ok.

Tell me your thoughts on the subject?

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