Can you be a selfish empath?

An empath is someone who is highly aware of the emotions of those around them, to the point of feeling those emotions themselves. Empaths see the world differently than other people; they’re keenly aware of others, their pain points, and what they need emotionally.

Highly sensitive refuge

I generally have always been very sensitive, I have always been emotional and prone to strong emotions. This is why I choose a previous partner (because he had very stable emotions.) In recent years, I have had alot of mental health issues and been diagnosed with Complex Post traumatic stress disorder and learned to to recognise triggers, and steel myself against personal demons.

But what about other people’s demons?

As someone who loves deeply, argues fiercely and takes on others emotions, I find that I have to be careful who I surround myself with. As a mum, as a woman, as a friend, I do seem to meet a lot of people, and I have been burnt. But yet I still trust, I still make new friends, and new romantic connections, despite my pain.

I love talking to people, but recently somebody told me I was selfish for talking about myself and not asking questions. And it made me think. Maybe this is my defence mechanism, that by not letting people share themselves it helps me to cope. That while I think I’m letting people in, maybe I’m creating an illusion.

I think that people who have seem past this exterior, and battle their way past my monologues, see how caring and good a friend I can be. But because of my health issues, I do find really connecting with people hard.

I think this is a reason I am an ambivert: I think I need tome with out the noise and emotions of others, to concentrate and recharge. But this helps me to spend time with people, I love talking and connecting. That is never going to change.

Ambivert definition:
An ambivert is someone who falls in the middle of the introvert/extrovert continuum. Ambiverts have a blend of traits from both introverts and extroverts, as well as their own unique strengths. 

Introvert,dear

So in conclusion, whatever your definition is selfishness/selfcare/self-centredness is sometime key to existence. It is time where you block out the nonsenses, time to clear your head, time when you steel yourself. So I think that all empaths/ ambiverts/ people in general need to give them self the care that they personally need to exist. But I think that defining it as SELFISHNESS shows it as a negative, and meant hurtfully, so I think it is important to redefine what is needed, and who you are. It is SELFCARE, SELF PRESERVATION, something that is needed to survive. So next time you hear someone called SELFISH or SELF-CENTRED, consider why they might have chosen to put themselves first, and that maybe a it’s ok.

Tell me your thoughts on the subject?

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Chef Sarah Jenkins: bringing food to life at iconic Coventry venue

So excited to get a mention!

Food Covolution

City centre bar/kitchen Drapers has recently recruited a new head chef, Sarah Jenkins. Food Covolution caught up with her for a natter about her plans for this iconic Coventry venue.

Food Covolution: Hi Sarah! Can you tell us a bit about your background and influences?
Sarah Jenkins: My mum is a fantastic cook and she’s always inspired me, but the first pro kitchen I worked in was the Earlsdon Cottage when I was fourteen! I think my mum just wanted to find me a job and the woman who ran the bar was a friend of hers. Since then I’ve done my Food Preparation NVQ to Level III and worked in lots of places that people in Coventry would know, like Hearsall Golf Club, Millsy’s, the Quadrant Club and the Jacobean, and Ego in Kenilworth. They all taught me something. And of course, my first head chef job was…

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Bottle Art

I’m currently just making general stuff for sale, but I’m open for orders from September! Tell me what you would like to see in stock?

Art inspired

Slogans

Film inspired

Baby shower gift;

GIFTED: Esquires; CATERING menu

Esquires Coffee house in the Coventry Transport Museum has been one of my favourite cafes in Coventry this year. It’s pretty big, and usually busy during the day, meaning it has a great buzz about it. They do lovely food and a tasty cup of coffee. It is a small chain, which prides itself on being a franchise which only uses ethical Coffee. started in 1993, it now is in 37 stores in the Uk, and 14 in Ireland.

The food within Esquires has been going from strength to strength this year. I was invited by Coventry Bloggers at the end of November, to try their Christmas menu, and the bloggers returned a few months Later to try the new breakfast menu. (All gifted experiences in exchange for honest reviews). This time, Esquires wanted to share their Catering menu with us. This can be eaten in, or delivered (free delivery within Cov when spending £50+, and within Warwickshire and West Midlands for a charge.)

We had a wonderful spread, freshly made for us. We were in one half of the cafe, while a drama group was in the other. This was fine, and it’s a big enough place, and sound doesn’t carry between the two areas. The room hire is free from 6pm till 10pm, as long as you are spending a minimum of £60 an hour. The venue holds an alcohol, and entertainment licence and is in a great Central Coventry location.

Prices originally hit me as quite high, but when I’ve tried the food (which it fresh, tasty and vibrant, as well as plentiful, it is actually very reasonable.

If you went for Menu A (like us) for 10 people, the bill would be £137.50. This would mean that you would get 2 hours of free room hire as well as buffet and drinks.

(Per person:

£ 9.95 Food

£3.80 2 cups of coffee or tea)

Or you could go for Menu C, ( £131) which is a cheaper, more limited selection menu. With 4 bottles of wine which would include two hours of free room hire when 10 people are in the party.

(Per person:

£7.50 Food

£5.60 Wine )

Of course, if you want outside catering, it’s much easier to just order what you need rather then worrying about the room hire.

My favourite bit about the food was the variety. No matter if you have gluten or or dairy allergy, there is something for everybody. And of course, I’m sure there are even more options if you discuss your requirements with the team at Esquires, they will be able to help.

The team at Esquires are always happy to help, and friendly, so never worry about asking for something different if you require.

We had two youngsters in our group for the evening. My Daughter, Cathryn, who is all set to become a blogger herself, really enjoyed her sandwich, and the pork pie. She said that the salads were a bit strange ( ie not cucumber, tomato and lettuce that she usually eat) but she said that the food “was really really pretty”.

Lily, the daughter of Emily, founder of Coventry Bloggers, and The Emily Chapters, very much enjoyed the chicken goujons, but to be honest was much happier watching peppa pig!

We all got to have our favourite drinks, and most of us opted for the seasonal iced coffees, while others tried smoothies and soy based coffees due to dietary requirements. The kids both enjoyed the innocent kids juices from the chiller.

Photo from Alice Alexander

My favourite items were actually the veggie options. I loved the veg spring rolls with sweet chilli sauce, the bagels with humous and roasted veg. And the Bean salad was wonderful!

So over all, it was a major hit with the whole group. It will definitely consider using Esquires for future parties, and I hope you will to!

Coventry Artists; influencers

As an artist and social media enthusiast, I love finding local artist on Instagram as well as in local shops. I have always been an advocate for local businesses, and I am excited to share these brilliant and brave individuals who put their souls out there. Please visit their social media platforms, share their staff, or buy one of their pieces of art! These people are all active now, and are part of Coventry! these are the kind of people who are a reason why we are City of Culture 2021!

Jonny Nicholds

Jonny is 35 and teaches music at a local college, and is part time director of music collective Mustard and Blood. His paintings range from portraits through surrealism and expressionism. He is artist in residence at The Tin Music and Arts, where he creates Album covers, theatre scenery and portraits. He has exhibited at Drapers, in March ’19 and plans his next exhibit in October. He is also part of this year’s Warwickshire open studios.

CovKid

CovKid is a project born to celebrate Coventry design. They aim to provide products that celebrate iconic images of the city both for locals and for visitors in the run up to Coventry City of Culture 2021. They aim to highlight the hidden treasures of Coventry design through the language of graphics. Products include cups and T-shirt.

https://coventrynative.co.uk/articles/covkid-interview-qanda

Katie O

Katie is a versatile artist who offers watercolours and acrylic painting. She has a flair for animals and does alot of beautiful animal portraits and murals. Also a talented sign writer, her work can be spotted throughout the city. She recently created Hopscotches around the city for CoventryBid.

Dynamic Art

Michael Bachelor, AKA Dynamick, is known for his boldand thought-provoking murals. His full coloured work, featuring a deep, but not always obvious message. A figurative painter with a free style that allows him to put emotion into every piece and express passion for life and art on many levels. His work can be seen in the USA, Europe, and the UK. Recent clients include IKEA, The University of Warwick, and Coventry City Council. Meeting people and travelling are his main inspirations, as well as pushing the boundaries of what can be achieved with spray paint and marker pen.

Andy Clare

Andy Clare is the creative force behind Spray station at FarGo Village . He specializes in Aerosolgrafia, and exciting form of Spray Paint Art that originated in Mexico in the 1980s.

Etch and Pin

Aaron Ashmore is the graphic designer behind Etch and Pin, Coventry’s monthly pin club which is celebrating its first birthday this month. I love his style, and both his choice in Coventry sites and his love of Pin badges intersect with mine (although most of the pin badges I own are animal or Harry Potter related.) His work celebrates the architecture and public art of the city, as well as insider jokes (“its a batch!” And “sent to Cov”. Below is a link to an interview with Aaron:

https://hellocov.co.uk/local/the-man-behind-the-coventry-pin-badge-club/

There are many many more artists who are active now in Coventry, but these are the people who inspire, and do what I would love to be doing. They are working hard to create images of things and paces they love. I hope my work can inspire others in the future the way these do for me.

This is only part one of my art series. The next part will be about painters, people who use brushes in particular. This will hopefully cover different styles, different subject matters and embrace all paint types! Let me know if you want to be featured, or know someone else that would be great to share!